Ragnarok And More

Things are going well with us Ragnarok was amazing. We really got to have a fun week in make believe, I was so sad to come back to real life. It’s like nothing else I have ever been too, people all look like you and have most of the same likes that you do it’s amazing. I can’t really describe it you have to go to truly understand the feelings you get.

We got back on Sunday and have had time to unpack and adjust to normal life so I am back at work again, sadness. Can’t wait for Badon Hill in September.

Rob and Heather are having some trouble connecting a lot of things that they had in common they don’t anymore. I am truly hoping that things get better for them. I asked Rob why he married Heather because in some ways I think he wishes he could be more free with his love; and he said that he loved how her love is so steady, like a rock. She will always love him the same amount steady and strong, she is always there for him. Plus he did not know about Poly and other life options at that time, he also thought that he could be completely faithful to her. I don’t think her is mad at her it’s not her fault people just can’t change to much of their nature, Heather is willing to put up with me (inside I think she still hates me) but anymore and I think she would go screaming into the darkness.

I wonder if Rob should have married her, knowing now his nature was it right for him to put her in a place where she may be unhappy and he may be unhappy. Would it have been better for him to have let go of her love so that they could both live a life they way they wanted. Maybe Heather would have found someone else who could have given her the love and affection she needed as well as the fidelity. Then Rob could have lived his life sharing his love with others more freely and not having to worry that he is hurting someone he cares about because he could be open with all of the loves in his life. I know how he is so for me a full Poly life would be nice I could live more freely as well, but Heather truly can’t.

Their love is strong so maybe they will be ok and Rob will be happy with just me and Heather or maybe someday Heather will feel free enough to tell Rob that he can seek out different loves. I might be wrong in all of this but I just don’t know. I love them together but I don’t know if they will be happy together.

I’m ok, my life is pretty set work, dag, home, friends, family. Pretty clear cut and to the point, not a lot of surprises. I like it it’s nice to live knowing what is going to happen from day to day most of the time. But I also want to try new things, maybe date a nice girl. I have this friend her name is Bliss she is very pretty and smart I like her a lot and I wish that her and I could get closer. I want to ask her out, she likes girls but right now she is with her boyfriend and is happy that way. She does not know how he would feel about her dating a girl, he is not really Poly even though she would be ok with that life style. Maybe I can find someone else is would be nice to date a girl.