So I'm having a baby, so so happy about it!
Heather has decided that she is not going to tell her family about our life style, she is just going to tell them I got pregnant accidentally with a boyfriend that I had just broken up with. I don't like it I don't really think it's going to work but Heather does not feel comfortable enough with our relationship to defend it to her family so she feels like this is the only way it will work.
I have decided that I am not going to try to work up an elaborate story if someone in her family asks me about it I will tell them I really don't want to talk about it and if they press I will say that it really is not any of their business. I will go along with this because it is what Heather wants and it is her family but I truly don't feel like it is the right thing. They will find out someday and I plan to have at least one more child and I don't know how we could really get people to buy that again, and if we did it would make me look like a slut and stupid. We will figure this out I guess, hopefully before the kid is old enough to understand what is going on around it because at that point it's all out the window. I will not lie to my child or make them lie, it does not work and it only hurts them.
Give her time. You guys have been rushing things, and I don't think she's really adjusted. I think if you all make it another year, with open communication, and without her feeling stepped on or ignored.. that she might be comfortable enough with telling them. Ultimately it actually IS none of their business, and telling them won't do much other than cause strife. I can understand her not wanting to invite that strife in for something she isn't committed to defending. Maybe someday it'll all work out, but it really won't if Heather is rushed.
ReplyDeleteI'm really happy for you. :)