Steps

So I can't stop thinking about babies again, dreaming about them, seeing pregnant women and wishing I was one of them. Sometimes I don't know why I have such an overwhelming urge to to be pregnant and have a baby. I know that some of it has to do with the fact that I am a women and thus I have all of those hormones that go along with it. My body wants to carry a baby because that is what It's supposed to do. I want a baby though because I think I would be a good mother and I want so badly to have a baby with the person I am with.

God it kills me how much I want to fell a baby growing inside of me, I was so envious of my sister when she was pregnant. I want so bad to place my hand on my belly and feel a baby kick, to have Rob rest his head there and hear the baby's heartbeat. To hold that baby when she or he comes out and touch and smell she of he. I can never stop thinking about them I just want so badly to talk this out and finally decide that yes we are trying for a baby. I have this medicine that my doctor gave me that will make my period regular and thus will make me more fertile, but I have not started to take it yet because I don't think its time. I think the families need to know about our relationship I think it would be wrong for me to become pregnant and then lay it all on them. Rob said that he is going to tell his family, he wants to talk to his sister first and he hopes that she will help him tell his mother. Heather still has no idea when she is going to tell her family.

This fells like it is almost right, like we are almost there.

Jewlery

Lately I have been thinking a lot about jewelry. I have never once gotten a piece of jewelry form a man that I did not know about. I have always eather picked it out or have been there when it was gotten. I want to know what it feels like to get something that I will wear forever that I did not pick out.

I have always liked the idea of a locket, a nice little locket. Something that I can put a picture in and wear around my neck. For me it feels like something I could hand down to my children when they get older.

It's silly and I know it a girl wanting jewelry but sometimes I just want to be a girl.