Twin Sister

I have not written in a very long time but my mommy posted something on her blog that really got me thinking.  She was talking about my sister and how sick she is and how she wishes that there could be more for her life.  My identical twin sister is dying, she has a disease called Focal Segmental Glomerlo Sclorosis, it basically kills your kidneys.  You can get as many new ones as you like but it will eventual kill each one, the one I gave her lasted 9 years. She got married, had a beautiful baby girl and found a hobby that makes her happier then I have ever seen her. But now she is going to have to get a new kidney because mine has finally failed as well. She has an amazing friend who is going to give her one which will help her get more time, but no one really knows how much time. This new kidney might not even take, which would be horrendous and I pray it does not happen.  


What is so bad about this is that I can't think about her dying, it's not fair she is not allowed to leave me.  We have had our fights, and our disagreements but it never mattered.  I could always see her and there would be instant understanding, no judgment.  No one fits as well as she does, there is nothing that could fit in her place.  Being able to lay in bed with her and talk about our troubles and our dreams have been some of the best times in my life.  I don't even know how to explain what it would mean not to have her. We have gone months without seeing or talking to each other, but when we come together its like there was never space its like we where always right next to each other.  I would just break inside.


I don't know what can be done in this and I know that she is dealing with so much more then I am but I can't help thinking about the world with out my other soul in it.