Thursday, May 20, 2010

Normal

I wish my life was normal, I don't mean just Rob and me I mean everyone being happy. I know that life can't be happy all the time but I just wish we did not have to worry about if everyone wanted to be part of our life.

I love my baby, I love Rob, I care a lot about Heather but I want us to be happy. I just don't know that Heather is going to ever be happy with this or if she is just going to put up with it for her whole life.

I want to live in a poly life where everyone involved where happy with the lifestyle. As of right now we are not really living in a poly lifestyle, Heather and Rob are living as a married couple with the girl that Rob allowed into his life but Heather does not want. I know that she thought I would get bored with Rob and leave and then when I got pregnant she was surprised and scared. I think because she realized that I was not going that I was in it for the long haul.

I truly hate this so much, I think that if Rob and I could we would like to be more Poly because I think that is who we are. Rob loves Heather and he always will but I just don't know what Heather feels. She is so hard to read, you have to pull everything out of her. I think if she had the resolve she would leave Rob and go live with her sister or her parents.

Is it to much to ask that everyone that was involved in a family was happy about it.

2 comments:

  1. Wow Catanya, your triad is the same age as mine and our paths are so similar. My wife acts so unhappy so often. The thing is -- was Heather unhappy before you came? In my situation, our wife was unhappy (though she swears she wasn't). But she and I were friends before I entered into the relationship and I remember vividly how she considered to leave Hubby every couple of months. Don't blame yourself!!! Heather had every chance to say no, and still does. I figure only you can be happy in yourself and with what you've got. If you don't like it, then do something about it.

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  2. No Heather was happy but she was also in denial. She knew what kind of man Rob was but she was pretenting that it would never come up and when it did she was upset. I'm not saying that we went about this in the right way but she did have a choice Rob did not push her to this. Things are better but we will never be close we will always just be two women sharing a man.

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