Thank you's

So my posts have been somewhat bumtastic lately part of that has to do with the fact that I usually have a journal that I write stuff that I am feeling down in but it is stored away. So this has sort of become my journal for right now, that is why things tend to be on the down side. A lot of the emotions I have are fleeting but I write them down so I have a chance to look and them and try to work thru them so I can be happier and healthier.

I have a lot of good going on in my life but sadly most of it I can't really talk about right yet so I usually can only post the bad because it is safer. I am coming to the conclusion thought that it might be OK know for me to just post everything because at this point I don't know how much it really matters any more. I will have to talk to some people but i think soon I will be able to just say what I want here which will be so nice since I am very sick of having to watch what I say all the time.

Some of what I can say is that I have a lot of really good people in my life right now and I really want to thank them and give them a little idea of how much they mean to me.

Autumn you have been AMAZING!! Really without you to just say pretty much anything I want to say, I think I would have gone mad a long time ago, when I could no longer go to gaming and my life was to crazy to hang out I was so sad. Love of friends is something I really needed and you where there to give it to me and you also had some really great advice for me at some crappy points in my life. Also knowing that I can be there for you as well even if it is only in a very small way helps me feel like I am not a complete disaster as a friend.

Eric I have found a strange amount of comfort in your company. Your intelligence is refreshing sometimes it is just so nice to talk to someone about things that are going on in the world. Your calm understanding of the time I spend with your wife is so nice and talking to you and her is a great joy for me. Also your willingness to change the day you guys gamed so that I might game again was something else I really needed.

Griffin thanks for just being you! Your sweet joy and happy smile really makes my day and helps me curb my annoying need for a child of my own.

Sara I don't think I have to go on to much you know how I feel about you but I will anyways. You have always been there for me thru everything, even when things where hard between us for one reason or another you have given me your heart. You will always be my first and last love and no one and I mean that no one can take your place for me. The easy understanding we have with each other, the comfort I find when I can just crawl in bed with you and snuggle, and the ability to just cry at the drop of a hat and have you hug me and tell me it's OK and I know it is. Last but so not least the amazing baby that you have given to all of us that has made my life so much brighter, I know sometimes it can be hard but the happiness I see in you when you hold her is something I carry with me all day.

Mina...... You are just so much to me, the dreams I have of being your aunt are so real and so happy that I can't wait to live them. I am so happy you came into our lives and I will treasure every single moment I have with you.

Heather this is the hardest one for me so much has happened between you and I sadly some of it really bad. I just want to say thank you for giving me another chance and for being a friend to me when you really did not have to be. Your kind heart, quick funny mind, and sometimes sarcastic wit has really grown on me. Most of all I want you to know I am really happy you are my friend and that you where willing to be mine.

Mattlock for just being my friend and accepting that friends can be strange people and not condemning them for it.

Rob your friendship has been so important and surprising for me considering that in the beginning I really did not like you very much. You have been there when I really needed someone to just hold me and tell me that I really am an adult. Seeing you treat your wife with so much love and affection gives me hope that all relationships can be that way. Playing video games with you, watching Naruto, talking about books, watching stupid TV shows, putting up with me and your wife watching anime together, sharing a love of cats, learning to play cards with you even thought it drives me nuts, and knowing that you will be there for me no matter what is more then I could ever wish for.

Finally my parents thanks for helping me when I was down and out, and most of all thanks for understanding my craziness and being true parents who love me no matter what and just want me to be happy.

That's about it, I know I have already done something like this but I feel that it was important for me to put this down. Thanks again to everyone.

Sorry I forgot one, Gabriel I never really got to know you but thanks for the small hope that you gave me even if it was fleeting, you where there at a time of my life that I needed you hopefully you will be again.

That's really it this time.