One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

So here I am thinking everything is going great, we all seem happy life has really started to hit it's grove, the big bills are behind us and we seemed to be taking some slow steps forward. Then Heather says see is feeling too jealous and that it's very hard for her to deal with that, she goes so far as to say that if it gets to bad she will leave so we can be happy together. The whole martyr syndrome, I hate to call it that but I have done that myself in the past so that is what it truly is. I knew this was not going to be easy, one step at a time, feeling as we go but I have to be honest at least to myself and say I am frustrated.

Rob and I have finally gotten our night together a few weeks ago and since then we have had two more. We where going for an every Friday sort of thing, just until Heather was comfortable and ready to give us some more time. Now Rob wants us to take some steps back, be less loving in public, not as much affection, I recommended maybe we should cut off Friday's all together for right now. What gets me about this is that it feels like we have already been going at this in a snails pace and now we have to slow it down even more. I am not being fair the rule in Poly is you have to go as fast as the slowest person but I can't help it. I fell like at some point you just have to say your going to live with it or don't that simple. I would hate for Heather to say she could no longer deal with it and she wanted me to leave but it would be better then this axe always hanging over my head. Right now I never know when it could happen and really it's scary enough in a new relationship to put your self completely in to loving a person and now I have this to think about. I'm afraid to give my whole heart if I have to worry about it being throw back in my face at any time.

I don't know what else to do, I will cut back give her the time and support that she needs. But this brings back a lot of fear for me and I don't know really what I am going to do about it, I guess the only think I can do deal, I have really fallen to deep into this really settled my heart on it. If it falls I fall too and I will have to just pick up the pieces and hope that I have not lost to many of them.