Up and Down

So my weekend was a full one, some really great times and some really really crapy times.

On Saturday Rob, Heather, Matlock and I went to Darien Lake for my work Picnic. We had a great time, there was free food for both dinner and lunch and free drinks as well. We rode some water rides and even got to go on some rollercoaster’s; in the whole it was an amazing day.

Now for Sunday not such a good day it sucked as a matter of fact. So the morning was nice I woke up early and Rob saw me so he came and tucked me and laid with me until I feel asleep again. When I finally woke up again we all spend sometime playing on our computers then we got ready for gaming. Rob was super happy about using his new mini which Heather had done an amazing job painting, and we where looking forward to really getting in to Eric’s game. Now for the crap, so we finally get to Eric and Autumns place after stopping at the store quickly and the first thing I notice is Megan is sitting in my seat. Now I am carrying stuff so I did not have a chance to say anything, I did plan on saying something once I had put my stuff down but Rob got to it first sadly. I could tell as soon as he got in the door he was pissed, he looked at Megan and said it was not her seat she ignored him as she often does and then he asked her to move saying it was our seat. Megan said it used to be but it was a new game so it was not anymore. Now mind you I was mad at this comment since it was my seat she was in and I understand that there are no name plates written on them but I had been sitting there for some time and things had worked out just fine. But I was willing to let it go until I had a chance to talk to her, but this only made Rob madder so he got mean. He told Megan that he did not want to sit next to her because she smelled, Heather and I tried to calm him down but Megan was pissed now so she commented back and it just want badly from there. Rob finally came to me and asked for the keys, he kissed me and Heather and then went to leave as he was doing so he punched Megan in the arm and told her that it was the best he could do and left. He did not really hurt her with the punch but it was still bad and we all knew it including Rob, mind you he does not fell badly about it but he knows it was wrong.

This of course makes things hard, I am very mad at Megan because I feel she was being antagonistic on purpose and to be honest I have not had friendly feelings towards her for some time. But now because of Rob hitting her that throws all this out the window, I can’t be mad at her even thought I feel she was as much at fault in this argument as Rob was. It spiraled out of control and if he had just walked out we may have been able to deal with it but now we can’t. I understand Rob’s temper he is amazing I have only really seen him lose his temper twice including this since I first meet him which was ten years ago; but when he does it is usually bad. So the fact that he only hit her in the arm and not very hard at that is a miracle, the likelihood of him knocking her teeth out was really high. I am not saying that we should be happy with what he did by any stretch of the imagination but it’s true that it could have been much worse.

I don’t know how to feel here, Rob says he will not came back as long as Megan is gaming with us. I don’t like Megan very much I have tried very hard to give it time so that I can find it in me to like her but I realize that honestly in life you don’t have to like everyone. This is hard for me to handle because I try really hard to be nice to everyone and to find something good in everyone because I know I am not a perfect person so I fell I have no right to judge. But I just can’t like everyone and I think after this I really don’t like Megan, I will continue to game with her but I can’t be her friend. I will continue to be friendly and polite but I don’t plan to hang out with her outside of gaming in any fashion.

When it comes to Rob it’s hard for me to know how to feel, I love him with all my heart and understand that there are certain parts of his personality that will never change as there is in all people, but this one is a hard one. When he dislikes a person he is done with them, he will handle them for a while but when he is done he is just done. He knows he has a bad temper and realizes if he goes back to gaming he will most likely do something that he will regret. He is very depressed about not being able to game anymore with all the rest of the friends but he feels his hands are tied because he just can’t handle Megan with the feelings he has. He also realizes that this is very childish and stupid in a way but again he knows that he can try all he wants but this is a part of his personality he can not suppress. Megan has hit his shit list and thus he can’t take her off not without some miracle. I get it but it does not mean I am happy, I love gaming with Rob so this means Heather and I will have to go to gaming on our own, we only really get two days of complete time with him Heather less because she normal has stuff to do with her family on Saturday. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to stop gaming and Rob is not asking us to he is encouraging us to continue but we want to spend time with him.

Right now I am trying to talk Rob into coming back but I don’t see that happening but Heather and I plan to continue to game with everyone. We will most likely leave a little earlier then we used to just so we can spend some time with Rob but that is subject to change as is everything else.

I really just want things to be fixed I hate stress and drama I really do it makes me feel crappy and ill, everyone in our house is sort of walking around in a depressed fog and I hate it.