Sex Revisited

I knew I would come back to this subject at some point, I guess now is a good time. So sex has changed for me of course mainly because I am no longer with my husband, we are not divorced yet but we no longer spend any time together. Thus no sex. Most people know why I am getting a divorce, my husband says its because I cheated on him and in part he is right I did cheat on him but that is not the true reason.

For years he has ignored my needs sexually and emotionally, he can be very callus when it comes to someone else's feelings. I am a very free thinking wife I told him he could sleep with other women as long as our marriage did not suffer from it. It did, he would be all for sleeping with these girls but when it came time for me to ask he would most times say no. When we did have sex it was usually short and most of the times it was giving him a blow job, which by the end I was happy doing since it was quicker and less disappointing then sex. Emotionally it was hard we lived with my parents for two years because he lost his job and most of the time he was jerky and none caring. I understand part of the he was depressed but he was not even trying to find a job, as much as he hated being in my parents house he loved not having to work. It was so hard for me, he did not listen to what I had to say and he would always just give in never really give his point. Plus the baby thing was a big deal to me, I have wanted a baby for so long and he really just kept putting me off. He told me once he found a job or we got our own place we would start trying, so he got a job and we got our own place and what did he say.... not yet.

Ug enough with that, this is about sex. So as I said I cheated on my husband, it happens most of the time when things are bad in your marriage. But the man I cheated with oh was he good with the sex oh so good. I have not been with a lot of men, three to be correct but this one oh god was he a keeper. He really knows how everything goes and how to really make you go that extra mile. The best think about him I would have to say is the kissing he kisses so well, just the right amount of tongue and oh so nice lips. I liked feeling every time like I was kissing for the first time, he gave that to me. He also helped me bring back my aggressive side when it came to sex, I had been hiding that for far to long.

For all of this there was a great deal of love there as well, when I was with him I felt better. Right now that's what I could really use, I want to feel comfort. Arms wrapped around me, gentle kisses on my neck, I want to feel that all night long. I am sick to death of being alone at night it is killing me ever so slowly, I need that closeness and yet its so far for me. I want sweet gentle loving sex, with passion behind it that is what I crave at this point. I'm being silly I know it I love sex, all kinds of sex but for some reason right now what I want most is just love and if I can get that with sex too, yippee.