Thursday, October 04, 2012

Want

I want to be someone that someone wants, I want to be wanted.  It's not that people don't want me in their lives it's just that I want to be "WANTED". Rob knows what it's like to be wanted by someone he has girls wanting him all the time. I want to feel that, I want to know what it's like to have someone just crave you. I know that Rob wants me but over time that want changes it mellows, I always get jealous seeing him be free to want others and have them want him.  Its not the people I am jealous of its the experience.

All this time I have been saying I am living in a Poly relationship and I am but I have been doing nothing Poly. I have been watching Rob from the sidelines wishing that I could be involved wishing that I could be out there on the field playing the game too.  It must be such a rush to feel that NRE to just reveal in someone burning for you again.  I don't know how to find something like that and I'm sick of thinking of settling for some girl I may not like just because she might be interested in me.  I want to find a girl who likes me and who I like but I don't know where to go or even how to look. I don't know if I even want to deal with the hassle of it all.

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