Sometimes it takes completely breaking down and crying as if there is nothing left for you to finally find your way. I honestly did not know what to do anymore and I just had to let it out and hope everything came out for the best. It really hurt but I think thinks might be starting to look up again. I never dreamed that we would get to a place like that but I think the miscarriage threw us off our grove and left both of us in place where we felt out of control. We just took different ways of trying to get control and freedom from our scary reality.
I have no idea what is going to happen now but I feel better, and even if its only a little better it tells me that there is an end to this tunnel of crap and I can reach it. Poly is a scary thing people and I believe that honesty is the most important thing no matter what. Honesty about everything not just the relationships your in, how your feeling, what you can handle EVERYTHING. Without it things will never work and everyone just gets hurt. I want my life to be more like that from now on it will take some doing but we have gone thru a lot in the last 6 years we can do this too.
I have no idea what is going to happen now but I feel better, and even if its only a little better it tells me that there is an end to this tunnel of crap and I can reach it. Poly is a scary thing people and I believe that honesty is the most important thing no matter what. Honesty about everything not just the relationships your in, how your feeling, what you can handle EVERYTHING. Without it things will never work and everyone just gets hurt. I want my life to be more like that from now on it will take some doing but we have gone thru a lot in the last 6 years we can do this too.
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