Over

So my marriage is over. I left on Thursday.

This was all my choice but I still feel scared, sad, lost, and cheated. I put 7 years in to this relationship and now I am just giving it all up, undoing all this work.

I was so mad yesterday when I told some friends at work and they where like, that's great now you’re free. I know they may have been just trying to make me feel better but god. I just left I'm not thinking about going out and partying, it seems so crass. I hate that it got here and at times I want to kick myself and go back but I know it was the right thing to do.

I think what sickens me the most about this is that I don't feel as sad as I thought I would. I was sure I would be sobbing and pinning for him but I'm not. I have cried don't get me wrong but it’s more for lost time and for hurting him.

I can't write anymore I just can't think I will probably post more later but for now I just need to breath.