Jealousy

This is a topic I never wanted to talk about, mainly because it sucks and I try so hard for it to not to run my life. I usually don't have strong feelings of jealousy I'm able to think thru them and move on, there is always a feeling behind jealousy you just have to find it and deal with it.

When it comes to the men I date I am good with them being with other women because I know that they still love me and that I still will get sex from them too. Yesterday for the first time in a very long time I had a strong pang of jealousy and it keeps wanting to nag at me. I was never jealous of these people never I could look at them and not care it was only right after all that they act this way but yesterday something was said that just made a pain shot thru me. Afterwards I tried to sit down and think about it calmly and I know why it bothered me, because I am no longer getting the same in return.

The feelings involved are sadness, anger, and the strongest emotion is the feeling of being left out. Know that I know what is driving this maybe I can work on it; I really hope I can because right now every time I think of it another pain ripples around in my head. I am stronger then this and I can work thru it. Until then I am going to try to stick to my list and think of the good things in my life and take a deep breath.