Coming Back From Failure

The last couple of weeks have been really hard for me in a lot of different area's of my life.  I have felt like a failure in so many ways. At my work I was demoted back to the phones after being a couch for 2 years, because of my attendance issues.  When it comes to illnesses for Ellie I am the one that has to stay home and if some one has to go get Ellie from daycare for some reason that is me as well. Rob makes a lot more then I do so my job is really the one that has to suffer. It's not really his fault because his job is really more important but it sucks that I am now stuck back on the phones. So this just makes me feel like I am a failure when it comes to my career.

Then I had a miscarriage and all I can say about that is it make me feel like a failure as a women even thoug I know it is not the truth.  I just feel like I can't do anything well, I want to do something well.

Right now I am really just trying to focus on the things I can control like being a good mom for Ellie and a good partner for Rob. Seeing Ellie and loving her with all my heart has really helped me with some of it, her little voice and happy smile is everything.

I want to get past the random crying for no reason and the anxiety about my life changing.  I want to have some stability in my life since nothing else seems to want to be stable for me, but I can't even have that.  It seems like everything just keeps hammering at me, one thing after another.  I want to come back from this failure not nesicarly as a winner but at least on an even keel. I need something good to happen for me I need someone or something to cut me a break and help me get back on my feet. I am just so tired, I know I can get there I am just so tired of all the crap that keeps getting thrown at me.